return to sender

I've pretty much been offline since July. In computer time, that's like....four thousand years. And when you're offline for four thousand years, those people you were in regular interwebs contact with, be it personal or business, tend to write to you to find out where the hell you are. When you don't write back, they write again. When you still don't respond (because you haven't seen their messages), they hunt you down via Flickr, Facebook, Twitter and any other site you may have an account on and they write to you there.

Here's the thing, if I am dead or have lost my arms in a farming accident and have not yet mastered the art of typing with a straw in my mouth, no amount of Goodwill Jodie Hunting is going to get you a response.

Dear Hunter, I'm not ignoring you, I'm just offline for various reasons. Love, Me.

In other news, I'm about to get the wheels turning again and at this stage, I am tentatively planning to re-open my online business by December. Look, it may not happen and if it doesn't, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I'll just open in January. But I would like to get back in the saddle before December because this would be my first Meringue-free Christmas in ten years and I the idea of that does not make me happy at all.

Who knew I'd miss the 18 hour days sitting at the sewing machine, the no-life, the room full of wristlets and the daily trips to the post office!

See you all soon-ish.

seriously?

I've had an awful weekend, truly miserable.....which was punctuated with the following.

*plug hairdryer in, see sparks fly, realise sparks are also flying from my computerised sewing machine, then smoke, then all electrical devices in the room shut off, then panic sets in, then a ray of hope is ignited when fuse switch is flicked and tv comes back on, then all hope is lost when it is confirmed that the sewing machine and hairdryer are casualties*.

Fuck.

Still no computer and extremely limited internet access. Not a happy camper.

still offline

Just a super quick update to let you know that I have not run off to some tropical island (I wish!). I am still computerless (see previous post, below) for various reasons. Which I may tell you all about when I'm back online. I've been doing my best to respond to urgent order enquiries. If I have not replied, I'm not ignoring you, I promise! I currently have over 800 emails waiting to be read (*weeps*). I will be back online shortly......on my new Macbook Pro (*wets pants with excitement*). For those who have been asking when I'll be launching the new range. It will be around mid-September. So sorry for any inconvenience!

byte me

I kill computers. There. I said it. I'm currently sitting in a seedy internet place, with several dozen computers surrounding me. All filthy. I don't even know how the chick sitting across from me is using the headphones because I wouldn't pick up the set on this desk with a pair of disinfected tongs.

So, why am I here? Well, Saturday night, I opened up my laptop, clicked the power button and waited for the magic to happen. Only, what happened was a rush of error screens that I've never seen before (and trust me, I've seen plenty of error screens), then my trusty laptop rebooted itself again and again and again, causing it to get very dizzy.......then it died. And after I'd finally sorted out my internet fiasco!

The laptop before this one died fairly soon after I got it. The sales guy said it was the motherboard and "just one of those things", so they replaced it with this one. The first one I killed had a blown backlight (no big deal) and then just stopped working completely.

I won't lie, I did allow myself a two minute teary last night, which contrasted nicely with the "WTF, computer?" session the night before.

Now I need a new computer, which was not in the budget this month because I have been spending all of my spare time and cash on getting the new range ready. I think what I'm going to have to do is wait until next week once I've finalised a couple of wholesale orders because I have sworn off using the credit card. Damn you, credit card, for being so handy! Damn you to hell!

Given it's not really feasible to run an online store without a computer and because I've almost sold out of current wristlets anyway, I called my sister and got her to put my Etsy shop in vacation mode until I am back online. It's just not an option to drive all the way to an internet place to try to do in one hour what normally takes 4-5 each day. It's unrealistic and kind of stressful.

If you are expecting a parcel from me, all have been shipped except for the last few where buyers were advised they would be shipped this Tuesday. If there has been any delay and I've let you know that I'm looking into it, I most definitely am. I can't apologise enough for not being able to reply to all enquiries immediately but given I receive 70+ emails each day (that require some kind of response), there's just no way for me to get this done away from home.

I won't be back online for several days or up to a week. I'll be busy working on the new range, getting to last of my current orders out and trying not to stress about the four billion emails I now have to read and respond to.

For now, I'm going to go home, disinfect my hands and make nachos. It's what my laptop would have wanted.

one flu and feeling cuckoo, at best

{Anna having her makeup done for the shoot}

Hey! Guess what! I've spent the best part of the last week or so, in bed....sick....again. Ridiculous. I thought I had a simple head cold, insisting to friends and family that I would be fine the following day. Three days later, I had a fever and was curled up in bed, shivering, coughing, sweating and being all attractive. So, I headed to the local medical clinic where I had phoned earlier to make an appointment. The glass doors of the clinic were plastered with the same sign, which read, "If you have cold or flu symptoms, DO NOT ENTER. Call reception and wait for someone to come for you". If I'd known, I would have worn a pig costume.

The doctor I saw was not one I had met before and as I sat down, he noticed the red blotch on my wrist. He pointed and said, "Dermatitis?". Still coughing, sweating and dabbing at my right eye which was weeping uncontrollably, I gave him a puzzled look and then said, "I'm a little worried about your diagnostic skills". I then told him it was a birthmark.

So, he checked me out and said I had flu and a chest infection. Fantastic! I headed home and collapsed into bed. Thirty six hours later, I had to drag myself out of bed for a magazine photo shoot with Anna. I am really not looking forward to seeing the final photo, which is ironically for a feature article in Women's Health magazine. As soon as it was done, I drove home and climbed back into bed, feeling like I'd run a marathon.

I'm feeling a lot better but I still don't have much energy, so I'm not pushing myself too hard. I reckon it's time to go chat to some professionals to find out what the hell is going on with my immune system. Somehow it got switched to Screwed.

july

It's the end of June and time for me to start my July pledge. I've decided to do two for the month. The first is to not use the clothes dryer for the entire month. It's the middle of Winter here, so that's harder than it sounds. The second, is to drop 6k (14lbs) by the end of the month.

I look forward to achieving both of these. Neither may sound like a big deal but not using the dryer is great for the environment and also for my power bill. Losing the weight is a continuation of what I've already been doing, but I figured if I made the goal public, it would just give me that extra push.

I'll keep you up to date with my progress. Feel free to join me with your own month-long challenge. Wish me luck!

*moonwalk*

What a weird day. Michael Jackson has died and the internet is in meltdown. Many grieving the loss, some celebrating it. I don't recall ever seeing anything like it.

Here's the thing, I am a Michael Jackson fan. I remember eagerly waiting in front of the television to see the first showing of the Thriller video. I remember LOVING that song and video. I still love it. Give me a few drinks and you can even see me perform it. Hell, 'Rock With You' is my favourite song to sing in the shower.

I'm mourning the performer, the artist. I don't know about the alleged details of his personal life, so I'm not going to judge him on it and I'm not wanting to debate it with people. I do know that his life was a circus...and unfortunately, so is his death.

Thanks MJ, for some amazing moments in music history. My personal favourites include:

PYT

Thriller

Bad

Rock With You

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

Wanna Be Startin' Something

Smooth Criminal

Workin' Day and Night

master baker

Andrew and I both like to cook for each other and other people. Until recently, there were very clear lines defining us as Iron Chefs. He is very good at cooking some things and I am very good at others. Like, he's become quite the bread maker and his pizza bases are incredible. He's also a man who knows how to barbeque really really well. The first dish he ever made for me was a simple, spicy vegetable bake that is still one of my favourite things to eat.

Anyway, like I said, we each had our own cooking territory, with the only real crossover being pumpkin soup....until now. Now he's treading on my cake turf. The man has become quite the cake baking expert and has perfected Parkin, a traditional English ginger cake that ages like nothing I've ever tasted. You're supposed to leave it for three days before eating it, so that it becomes rich, dense and sticky. It's really quite amazing to see it change.

So now, I feel challenged. Cakes/desserts are my thing. Well, were. Now they're Our thing. My competitive nature has my culinary brain ticking over as to what recipe I can come up with that will rival his Parkin recipe. Oh, it...is...on.

I'm a Twit

I joined Twitter last year. Hated it. Deleted my account. After some coaxing from friends, I joined again a couple of months back and this time, I'm actually enjoying it. One of the people I'm following is Jane Fonda. Oh she gives sweet tweet!

So, if you're interested in reading my 140 character mind spills, then come follow me.....you can just unfollow me when it all gets ugly.

PS: the image above is courtesy of Pip from Meet Me At Mikes

a month of.....

A friend of mine has decided that he would not touch a drop of alcohol this June. He announced it on Twitter and has been keeping everyone updated in a lighthearted way. I like this idea, it shows commitment to an idea and is a good way to get encouragement.

So I've been thinking about the rest of the year and things I could (and probably should) give up or do for a month. Some things that immediately come to mind...

• Air drying instead of using the clothes dryer
• Not eating any processed foods
• Drink nothing but water
• Eat nothing fried
• Going for a walk for 30min every day
• Flossing my teeth every day (once or twice a week is not enough, the dentist always knows!)

There's plenty more, I'm sure. But they are just off the top of my head. Perhaps I could aim for a different one each month? It's Winter here, so the clothes dryer one will be harder, which is why I definitely should do it now. Will get back to you with a game plan.